Why Are You Shouting??Let's Have Some "Shouting Jokes" Today !!

1.

Andrew To His Wife..

Andrew : I have a confession to make

Wife : What?
Andrew : ever since i met u its been hard for me to 4get u

every night i see u in my dream and find myself shouting

GHOST !! GHOST !! GHOST !!...................... LOL ;)

2.

A brunette was doing jumping jacks on a railroad track shouting twenty-one!! twenty-one!! repeatedly. 

A blonde walks by and said, "Wow, that looks fun, could I try?" 

The brunette stepped aside and watched the blonde. 

Then, the train came by and smashed the Brunette. 

The blonde then got back on to the track and began shouting, twenty-two!! tewnty-two !!........ LOL ;)

3.

Santa and Jeet were on an African Safari when a lion sprang out of nowhere & draged Jeet with his jaws.
Jeet to Santa: (Shouting)Shoot him, Shoot him!
Santa : I can't. I ran out of film In My Cam...... LOL ;)

4.

 A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell,
Santa doesn't turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again,& Shout At Him

Santa replies,
I'm coming daily since 4 days,
I press the bell but no one comes out,So i am back......... LOL ;)

5.

Santa to his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining Sir.
Santa(Shoutung): So what take an umbrella and go........ LOL ;)

Let Us Start Our Laughing Session !!!!

1.

A beggar found Rs 100/-. He went to a 5 star hotel for dinner-Bill Rs 3000/-.
Manager handed him to police.
He gave Rs 100/- to police and free.
It's called Financial Management......lol ;)

2.

When someone touches u and u don't feel it, it's Ignorance. 

When someone touches you and you feel, it's Love. 

When nobody touches you but you feel it, it's Itching..... lol ;)

3.

 Preet: Oh, wow! You have a new car, a new mansion, new clothes & new jewellery! Your husband has changed jobs?
Jeet: No, I changed husband!...... lol ;)

4.

Gud: I am in love with the neighbor so I am running away with him.
Santa: Thanks, you have saved my money & time.
Gud: Dad, I am reading the letter left by Mom!....lol ;)

5.

 Teacher: What r the people of Turkey called?
Pappu: I don`t know.
Teacher: They r called Turks. Now What r the people of Germany called?
Pappu: They r called Germs......lol ;)

6.

Height of insult:
Girl msgs her BF:
Jaan, I can`t live without u. Will u marry me???
Reply comes:
Who`s this? I lost all my contacts. ....lol ;)

Let Us have Some "Friends" Fun Now !!!!!

1.

Sam : I want u 2 know that our friendship means a lot 2 me. 

Niki : Really!! How?

Sam : U Sit, I Sit

         U cry, I cry. 

         U laugh.. I laugh. 

         U jump out of d window.. I look down n then..

         I laugh again.. hahaha....LOL ;P

2.

Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar.

His first friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. Last week I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine."

His second friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber. This week I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine."

Paddy says: "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief. "No I'm serious. Yesterday I came home and found a jockey under our bed." .....LOL ;)

3.

Alex- Hey,How Are You,Now? How Much The Doctor  Charged You?

Monty-I Can't Open The Bill.

Alex-Why So?

Monty-Because Doctor told me to avoid unnecessary stress,So I didn't open his Bill.....LOL ;)

4.
Banta Sing (To Wife): u get marry with Santa after my death.

Wife : but why? He is ur no 1 enemy...

Banta :  Yeah,this is only way to take revenge with Santa !!!........ LoL ;)

5.

Santa standing on the platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa, you'll die.
Santa: Fool, you'll die; Because haven’t you heard, the train is coming on the platform?.....LOL ;)

6.

Santa: I do not want to marry coz I am afraid of women.
Banta: Get married soon, then u'll be afraid of only one woman & start loving all other women! ..... LOL ;)

7.

Cirus: I couldn't slept all night in the train.
Biv: Why?
Cirus: Got upper berth.
Biv: Why didn't u try to exchange your berth?
Cirus: huh!! there was nobody to exchange in the lower berth.... LOL ;)

8.

Tom: Why are you crying?
Dony: The elephant is dead.
Tom: Was he your pet?
Dony: No, but I'm the one who has to dig his grave.....LoL ;)

Let Us Have Some"Brother & Sister" Fun Now !!!

1.

Mum: Why does your little brother jump up n down before taking his medicine?

Glaiza : Because he read the label, and it said shake well before using.

2.

Alfie was listening to his sister Rose practice her singing. 

Alfie : Sis, I wish you would sing Christmas carols.

Rose : Thats nice of you, Alfie, But Why ?

Alfie: Then I would only have to hear you once In a year......LOL ;P

3.

Michael: Its hard for my sister to eat.

Maureen: Why ?

Michael: She cant bear to stop talking.

4.

Sister: Mom wants you to come in
and help fix
dinner. Brother: Why? Is it broken?

5.

Teacher: What’s this a picture of ?
Class: Don’t know, Miss.
Teacher: It’s a kangaroo.Kangaroo is a native of
Australia.
Smallest boy: Wow, my sister’s married one of them

6.

Little Brother: I'm going to buy a sea horse. 

Elder Sister: Why? 

Little Brother: Because I want to play water polo!

LET US HAVE SOME "HUSBAND & WIFE" FUN NOW !!!

1.

Wife : Honey …… What are You Looking for ?

Husband : Nothing. 

Wife : Nothing…?? U’ve been reading our marriage certificate for an hour …?? 

Husband : I was just looking for the expiry.....LOL ;)

2.
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband: “You know, I was a fool when I married you.”
 
The husband replied: “Yes dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice”......LOL ;)

3.

Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means, Without Information, Fighting Everytime!

 
Wife: No darling, it means, With Idiot(HUSBAND) For Ever...... LOL ;)

4.

Wife: I found a paper in your pocket
with the name Jenny on it.

 
Husband: I took part in a race last week
and Jenny was the name of my horse.

 
Wife: Sorry..!

 
Next day wife hit him with the frying pan again

 
Husband: What now..?

 
Wife: Your horse is on the Phone.....LOL ;) 

5.

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?

Darling: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.

Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?

Darling: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem Can there be greater than this one?

6.

 Husband says; "When I'm gone you'll never find another man like me".

 
Wife replied; What made you think like that??

"People never do the same mistake again & again !!!" 

 -Piu Misra

LET US HAVE SOME "FATHER & SON" FUN

1.

Dad to son: when I beat you how do you control your anger?

 
Son: I start cleaning toilet

 
Dad: How does that satisfy you?

 
Son: I clean it with your toothbrush..... LOL ;p

2.

Father:Chemical symbol of Barium?

Son: BA 

Father: Good … For sodium? ………… 

Son: NA 

Father: Vry Good.....

What will we get if 1 atom of BA & 2 atoms of NA combined? 

Son: BANANA ...... LOL ;p

3.Every Friends Are Equally Important In Life !!! Well....

=When Once I Was Late For Home,Dad Asked : "Where were you?"

I Told : I Was In My Friend's Home..
 

(..."Dad Has Called 10 Of My Friends In front Of Me.)

4 Have Told:"Yeah Uncle,She Was Here."

2 Have Told: "She Has Just Left For Home"

3 Have Told:"She Is Studing Here Uncle,Should I Give Her Your Call??

1 Have Just Acted Beyond,Told My Dad " Yes Papa,Tell Me Why Called?" !!! 

.......................aaaawooooo !!!! ..... LOL ;) 

4.

Father 2 his son: If u do not pass your exam this time, dont call me Papa.(In anger !!)

 
After some days.......

 
Father: how is your result?

 
Son: Sorry Mr.Alex Baron....... LOL ;)

5.

Son: Papa what`s the difference between mother's tears and wife's tears?

Father: Mother`s tears effect your heart &

Wife`s tears effect your pocket......LOL ;)

-Piu Misra

Let's Have Some "Teacher/Student" Fun Now :-)

1.

Teacher : 1 book + 1 book ?

Student : 2 books

Teacher : 2 books + 2 books

Student: 4 books

Teacher: 1,789,345 books + 23,658,298 books ? ? ?

??

??

Student : LIBRARY..!! ;-)...........Lol..:) 

2.

Teacher: 'Whoever answers my next question can go home.'

*Boy throws book out of the window*

Teacher: 'Who threw dat?'

Boy:' Me...   I'm going home,'... ;P

3.

Teacher :What happened in 1809?

Student: Abraham Lincoln was born.

Teacher :What happened in 1819? 

Student: Abraham Lincoln was ten years old!!!

......LOL ;P 

4. 

 Teacher: Tell me an example of a creature which can live on water as well as the land.

Student: Frog.

Teacher: Another example.

Student: Another frog....... Lol... ;P

5.

Teacher: Gwen, come here and point out Africa from this globe.

Gwen: Here Sir

Teacher: Correct! 

Now You Tell,John... who discovered Africa?

John: Gwen Sir !!..... LOL ;P

  

-Piu Misra